Saturday 28 November 2015

Is Your Script Ready For Submission? - The Definitive Quiz

It's high time we set the record straight, and got down to brass tacks - I've made it no secret that script reading, whilst rewarding, can be a bit of a nightmare at times. The title of this article may have lead you to believe I was doing something for you, but, let me be completely transparent here, this article is totally, selfishly for my sole benefit. If it manages to help you along the way, well, let's just call that a happy bonus. If your speculative screenplay makes it through this vigorous test, then I'll be more than happy to look at it someday. If not, read between the lines. Results are at the bottom of the page...

1) Have you actually finished writing it yet?
If Yes, go to Question #2.
If No, go to Result #1.

2) Have you read it through on your own, more than once?
If Yes, go to Question #3.
If No, go to Question #4.

3) Have you had a friend (or family member) read it and give you feedback?
If Yes, go to Question #5.
If No, go to Question #4.

4) Do you think that reading your work, or someone else reading your work, is actually valuable?
If Yes, go back to Question #3, and get it read.
If No, go to Result #2.

5) Be honest, does that friend (or family member) have a basic knowledge of screenwriting?
If Yes, go to Question #6.
If No, go back to Question #3, and reach out to someone who does.

6) How was their feedback and how have you acted on it?
If "Great, I implemented all of their suggestions", go to Question #7.
If "Good, I implemented most of their suggestions", also go to Question #7.
If "Not good, I didn't implement any of their suggestions", go to Question #8.

7) Do you believe you have improved the script by implementing the suggested changes?
If Yes, go to Question #9.
If No, go to Result #3.

8) Did you lie on Question #5?
If Yes, go to back to Question #3, and get feedback from a better source.
If No, go to Result #4.

9) Do you genuinely think your script is ready for submission?
If Yes, go to Question #10.
If No, go to Result #5.

10) Like, seriously, absolutely, 110% sure?
If Yes, go to Question #11.
If No, go to Result #5.

11) Is this your first screenplay ever?
If Yes, go to Question #12.
If No, go to Question #14.

12) Have you ever had your dreams brutally stepped on before?
If Yes, go to Question #13.
If No, go to Result #6.

13) How did it feel having your dreams get brutally stepped on?
If Good, go to Question #14.
If Not Good, go to Result #6.

14) Can you name an existing film / TV show that's similar to your script?
If Yes, go to Question #15.
If No, go to Question #16.

15) How similar on a scale of 1-10 are we talking here?
If "Between 1 and 3, only some passing resemblances", go to Question #16.
If "Between 4 and 6, it draws a lot from its influences", go to Question #17.
If "Between 7 and 10, I love that film / TV show!", go to Result #7.

16) Have you taken the time to research if there's anything more similar out there?
If "Yes, and there's nothing", go to Question #18.
If "Yes, and I did find something else", go back to Question #15.
If "No", go back to Question #14 after having done that research.

17) Will other people immediately draw comparisons between your work and theirs?
If Yes, go to Result #7.
If No, go to Question #18.

18) Does your script include a page that consists solely of dialogue?
If Yes, go to Result #8.
If No, go to Question #19.

19) Does your scene description include any implicit camera directions or "We see..."?
If Yes, go to Result #8.
If No, go to Question #20.

20) Do you have a title page, along with your name and contact details?
If Yes, go to Question #21.
If No, add that in right away, and repeat Question #20.

21) Does your script 100% fit the brief for what has been asked of you?
If "Yes, 100%", go to Question #23.
If "Mostly", go to Question #22.
If "No", go to Result #9.

22) Do you think that will matter to the people you're submitting to?
If Yes, take all the necessary steps to get it to 100%, and go back to Question #21.
If No, go to Result #9.

23) Have included all of the materials they've asked for?
If "Yes, 100%", go to Question #24.
If "Mostly", go to Question #22.
If "No", sort that out immediately, and repeat Question #23.

24) Is this the absolute best that this piece of work can possibly be?
If Yes, go to Question #25.
If No, go back to Question #1 after improving it to that standard.

25) Are you prepared to deal with the emotional fallout if you are not successful?
If Yes, go to Result #10.
If No, repeat Question #25 until you are totally, completely, 100% ready.

THE RESULTS:

1) You Are Not Ready For Submission


In fact, you're the furthest away you could possibly be from submitting this piece of work. Get it finished, check it over, and come back to this quiz once it's a completed script.

2) You Are Not Ready For Submission


Sounds like someone has thrown their toys out of the pram before. Once you realise the value of having others read your work and give feedback, you'll be able to take your work to the next level.

3) You Are Not Ready For Submission


Why on Earth did you implement them?! Identifying worthwhile feedback is as important as receiving it. Get suggestions from multiple sources, and see where the common issues lie.

4) You Are Not Ready For Submission


You've been telling porkies, mate. Anyone with a basic knowledge of writing can give workable feedback. Implement the changes, or find someone else more qualified to give you suggestions.

5) You Are Not Ready For Submission


Honestly, you've just wasted your own time by even thinking it was worth taking this quiz. You should only be considering submitting work that you know is up to its best possible standard.

6) You Are Not Ready For Submission


As great as your first script may be in your head, everyone's first script is simply not good enough. Submit very much at your own caution, after you've taken the time to develop a thick skin.

7) You Are Not Ready For Submission


I don't want to say that you've wasted your time writing this script, but I will. You've wasted your time writing this script. If it already exists out there in the real world, no one is going to want to touch your version.

8) You Are Not Ready For Submission


You've been let down by an over-confidence in your abilities (and your friends who read your work). These are basic errors that immediately put yourself on the top of many readers' naughty lists.

9) You Are Not Ready For Submission


You've got this far, so why be careless? Receiving work outside of the required brief is frustrating for those in charge, and, actually, pretty damn disrespectful. Sort it out immediately.

10) Congratulations! Your Script Is Ready For Submission!


Providing you've answered with complete honesty, your script is ready to be seen by readers, agents, producers, competitions, etc. You'll just have to wait to find out if it's any good or not...


James Cottle, a Scriptwriting Mega-Scholar™, is now a real world Freelance Writer, in between intense bouts of Script Reading. Follow him on Twitter @Jxmxsc, "like" the Anti-Scriptwriting page on Facebook, and share this blog if you want his opinions on your work to be completely unbiased.

Saturday 21 November 2015

6 Coping Mechanisms For Reading Scripts That Are "Less Than Good"

I've talked a great deal about the folly of writers over the last few weeks, and now, with the help of a group of melancholy violinists, I thought it was about time we focused on the real victims of sub-par screenwriting - those who have to read the work. Whilst some may question if the present integrity of my sanity even permits me to hand out such advice, on account of "all dem scriptz", I'm more than happy to share my top tips on how I've been able to stare into the endless void of writing existence, and still keep one foot grounded in reality. The only question I have for you is, "Why are the violins playing the people?"...

1) Tire Yourself Out First


Reading a bad script with a surplus of energy is about as safe as ingesting hallucinogens during a double rainbow. You'll be bouncing off the walls and chewing on your furniture quicker than you can write "miss-speling". The majority of my personal script reading notes consist of more shouty capital letters and inappropriate language than a YouTube comment section. The trick is, if you get an early sixth sense from, say, the first two pages that you're going to be in for a bad time, you must absolutely destroy your body and mind by doing whatever intense activity you can think of as quickly as you can.

Ride a bike up a severe hill, engage in some coital activity with a kind neighbour, turn the "down" escalator in your local mall into a treadmill - whatever gets the job done quickest. By exhausting all of your excess energy on something as pointless as exercise for staying in shape, you're mind is now numbed from engaging in extreme emotion (editors note: a lot of "e" words in this sentence so far, James. Please calm down), allowing your objectivity to flourish like a beige-wearing librarian during National Book Week. Even if you do find yourself using the CAPS LOCK while writing your notes, you won't be as mentally drained by your frustration this time around.

2) Set Yourself Mini-Targets and Rewards


Ahhh, the old corporate motivational tool of mini-rewards, as all the mindless office drones compete in meaningless micro-competitions to see which rat can truly run the maze the fastest. Laugh all you will at these losers, but the formula is proven to be effective. When you're undergoing such a horrific trial-by-fire, like reading a script that is "less than good", you want to be safe in the knowledge that you're going to be adequately compensated (besides maybe a little cash) for your suffering. The best way to do that is to reward yourself. I'm talking more than just patting yourself on the back, which feels more awkward than successful.

"Right, for every 20 pages that I read, I get 10 minutes of gardening time". "Every 2 paragraphs of a report I write, I eat a three course meal". "Each time I read a word, I get to buy something new for my Honda Civic". These are just a few of the thousands of possibilities you could be enjoying today! Breaking down something unenjoyable into smaller, more digestible unenjoyable segments allows you to seamlessly jump between work and pleasure, without having to undergo long spells of one or the other. Just, y'know... Make sure you actually get it done.

3) Walk Away For At Least An Hour


ON THAT NOTE, give yourself some cool-down time, kid. If the whole "reward" thing isn't quite working out for you, on account of the fact that your new souped-up Honda Civic just made you vomit your finest Sunday lunch all over your beautiful hydrangeas, try just shutting off all external stimulus and chilling out. Turn off your mind, relax and float downstream. Let your mind forget about all that icky characterization, non-sensical plotting and atrocities in the name of all things grammar, and plug your ears into the relaxing sounds of whales doing their thing, or something else that doesn't make you as thirsty.

Upon returning to work, you'll find one of two things. Either everything that insulted you so much about the script previously isn't seeming quite as bad, and you're able to be more open and supportive of certain "creative" decisions. Or you'll continue to hate it. If it's the latter, take another hour or two. Get yourself into that Zen state, no matter how much brute force you have to take to achieve it. I often find that returning from a mini hiatus with a fresh batch of reluctant optimism affords me the ability to be more positive in the long run. Just, y'know... Get it done. Can't stress that enough.

4) Pretend That It's "Less Than Good" Deliberately


Well, now we're getting creative! Providing you can fool yourself into having an open sense of humour for a few hours in the day, you might start to find that reading "less than good scripts" can actually be an enjoyable experience. Gasp! The script becomes a "deliberately bad joke" that you're in on, as if you're infiltrating the system with the writer to see how high up the food chain you can pass this thing. Therein lies a powerful sense of camaraderie, allying yourself with the budding scribe as opposed to creating a new enemy for yourself. They've fulfilled their side of the joke, now you have to make good and produce your "serious" report, telling them why they are naughty *wink face*.

Your faith in humanity always rests on the comforting thought that everyone else knows what they're doing. This coping mechanism complements that, possibly naive, train of belief, allowing your critical feedback to come from a place of positivity and acceptance. The only danger is if the script has been written to be "less than good" deliberately - suddenly some clever clogs who has turned terrible writing on its head to create something brilliant and hilarious is greeted with script coverage that, well, didn't get the joke. To all those post-modern, coffee-slurping, bespectacled, seven-layers-of-irony writers who have tried this approach - bravo, but you're going to have to include a disclaimer for all us bespectacled, seven-layers-of-irony readers.

5) Read It In A Place Surrounded By People


Whenever I'm reading alone in my home, I get surprisingly vocal about my general disapproval of people who are, honestly, probably doing their best. With no one else around to bounce off my escalating insanity, my feedback runs the risk of becoming an indecipherable smörgåsbord of inconsequential shouting, mild threats and a surprising amount of Gloria Gaynor lyrics. Now, I'm not saying you should only ever read around your friends and family, because you want to share your continued suffering with others like a normal member of society. No. I'm instead suggesting that you bottle that madness up, and surround yourself with total strangers.

That's right - pack up your laptop, a couple of red bulls and a serious desire to kick some scriptwriting ass, because you're hitting the road, Jack. Get yourself into a local library, cafe or acupuncture clinic, set up your little workstation and quietly get to reading in the corner. If readers are anything like writers, we're absolutely not going to run the risk of causing a scene, let alone drawing any sort of meaningful attention to ourselves, and that crippling social pressure, in this instance, is totally a good thing. You can knuckle down, get the gruelling work done, and go home to scream into your bedroom mirror to your heart's content. That, my friends, is called turning a weakness into a strength... You can thank me later.

6) NONE OF IT IS WORKING. OH DEAR.


OK, change of plan. Now would be a great time to panic. Yep, turns out that no matter how prepared you think you are to cope with the work of "less than good" writers, YOU ARE ALWAYS HORRIBLY UNPREPARED.

Now, if you excuse me, there's a mirror over there that needs a good old fashioned yelling at.


James Cottle, a Scriptwriting Mega-Scholar™, is now a real world Freelance Writer, in between intense bouts of Script Reading. Follow him on Twitter @Jxmxsc, "like" the Anti-Scriptwriting page on Facebook, and share this blog if you want his opinions on your work to be completely unbiased.

Saturday 14 November 2015

The Top 10 Worst Script Devices That People Still Seem to Use

Humans are creatures of habit. Life is comfortable when it's routine. Writers are no different. Not to imply that we're a different species - we get enough of that from everyone else. But, like impressionable children who desperately want to emulate that episode of Casualty they accidentally watched without their parent's permission, many writers lack the discipline in their lives to know that they've been very naughty. Yep, your Anti-Scriptwriting Guru is living up to his name this week, and suggesting we abolish these script-based atrocities that have somehow permeated their way into the spongy consciousness of novice scribes.

10) Back to Scene


Here's a bit of free advice - if you're actively taking the time to yank your reader out of a scene just to show them something on a screen or on a phone or in a book or inside a self-help pamphlet or whatever, you've already lost their interest. The moment you break that immersion, readers will start to question what actually counts towards the narrative, what a scene in this story actually entails, and WHAT IS SCRIPT?

9) EXT/INT


"Yo, where we at?", asked the innocent reader. "Outside. Inside. Wherever. You choose. Doesn't really matter", responded the moron responsible for the 90+ page waste of time. Scene headings are pretty damn important, y'know? They let us know where we are, they tell a producer which locations to scout for, and, most importantly, they actually ground the action in a tangible location, rather than the big white nothingness from that bit in The Matrix.

8) FADE IN


Someone told a bunch of gullible writers one day that you must begin your script with FADE IN. Why? Just start the damn story. People seem to just include FADE IN without even considering what that even means - I've read a few scripts now that have followed FADE IN with BLACK, which just defies everything that the natural behaviour of light and logic dictates. Fading into black from a black background is... well, nothing.

7) Numbered Characters


"Mom, Dad, you'll never guess what! I just bagged a part in a part in a major feature film shooting next year!", "Oh my Gosh, sweetie! That's amazing! Who are you playing?", "WOMAN #3". This conversation never happened. Frankly, most of us would be less embarrassed to admit we were playing a tree in a school nativity. Even the most minor of characters, speaking or non, should be characters with personalities, not numbers.

6) "In the b.g."


Aside from a "b.g." sounding like a 16 year old's nickname for a sexual act that they're pretending they've experienced, it apparently stands for "background". I don't know about you, but I have no trouble writing or reading that word in its entirety. I get we have O.S. and V.O. for dialogue but that's for formatting brevity. Sticking this random abbreviation into description feels distracting and  redundant, or, as you would say, "St.kng this r.d. abbrev. in2 d.script feels ds.trctng + redund."

5) Action in Parenthesis


Most of us get that there are two major components to a script - dialogue and description. Occasionally, if you're feeling fruity, you may include a little direction in parenthesis to indicate how a line of dialogue might be delivered, but even then, most sane writers will start telling you to lay off the Chardonnay. So, to all of those """writers""" (with added quotation marks for emphasis) who describe physical actions in brackets - Stop. Scene Directions exist for a reason.

4) Beat.


Do you know what the word "beat" makes me think of? No, not that. It makes me think that I'm reading a script. "Surely that's a good thing?", you ask, so naive that you still believe Santa Claus is actually your Uncle Gary. Nope. I don't want to be reminded I'm reading a script while I'm reading a script - I want to be lost in the story, as trippy as that sounds. So why not indicate the passing moment in time in a way that's organic to the scenario, with a "Pause" or a "Silence"?

3) CUT TO:


Oh really?! We're cutting to the next scene?! I thought this scene was just going to go on forever, whilst the new scene played out elsewhere without us ever getting to see it. A CUT TO is just a wasted line on a page, and when you insist on ramming it into my eyeballs between every... single... scene... Let's just say those lines add up. And my rage adds up. All Wasted Pages and Much Rage Makes James A Dull Boy. All Wasted Pages and Much Rage Makes James A Dull Boy. All Wasted...

2) Intercutting


Intercutting is just the height of laziness. Say you have two characters on the phone - both people are making that call in different contexts, doing different actions and responding differently to one another. Just writing INTERCUT and leaving it up to us to decide which side we should be visualising from moment to moment doesn't take advantage of the dynamics of the conversation. It's like EXT/INT, but actually suggests a reluctance to take two seconds to write something worthwhile.

1) "We See..."


I fall to my knees in utter despair. WHY ARE PEOPLE STILL USING "WE SEE"?! Wait, sorry... "We see James fall to his knees in utter despair". Ugh. I feel dirty writing that. Let me break down why it's the most bafflingly, pointlessly stupid thing to ever write in a script ever - You're writing the actions, characters and events unfolding on screen in description. OF COURSE WE'RE SEEING IT. Imagine opening a book where every sentence started with "We Read" or listening to a radio play where every sound was preceded by "We Hear", as if it were being presented by an insufferably smug audio descriptor. Picture going to the cinema and, rather than the usual sign language interpreter in the bottom of the screen, you get an avatar of the film's writer pointing up at the action unfolding behind them, yelling "Watch this bit! Look at what you're seeing! Don't glance away from the massive screen in front of you!". We Read that James is at the end of his friggin' tether by this point, clearly suggested by this massive rant about the idiocy of two small words, but explained through this sentence, just to make sure you picked up on his frustration... SEE HOW HORRIBLE AND PATRONISING IT IS TO BE SPOKEN TO LIKE THAT?! IMAGINE 120 PAGES OF THAT.

I must rest now.


James Cottle, a Scriptwriting Mega-Scholar™, is now a real world Freelance Writer, in between intense bouts of Script Reading. Follow him on Twitter @Jxmxsc, "like" the Anti-Scriptwriting page on Facebook, and share this blog if you want his opinions on your work to be completely unbiased.

Saturday 7 November 2015

5 Familiar Plotlines That Need to Go Away in Spec Scripts

It has become scarily apparent to me that scriptwriters around the world must all be linked to some sort of neural hive-mind. Granted, with our catalogue of media expanding by the day, the art of creating something truly original is definitely no easy feat. Unfortunately though, rather taking the opportunity to push the boundaries of storytelling, many writers are falling back on the same few recycled plotlines. For every 100 scripts I have read, a depressingly small number of stories within that group don't end up being repeated. So, if your latest script resembles one of these repeat-offenders, please, do me a favour...

Warning: Things get pretty heavy.

1) Taken Knock Offs


Let's kick off with the most frequently occurring display of unoriginality. Child is kidnapped. Father has skills (policeman / military / Krav Maga instructor, etc.). Fights bad guys. Saves child. Taken did it (several times, in different variations), so why go back to that dried-up well? "It's just meant to be a fun action romp", you quickly counter, and sure, it may well be (most of the time, though, people seem to forget to include the "fun" part), but, at the end of the day, it's still just Taken again. Look, kidnapping can be a great narrative device (which, disclaimer, I don't condone in reality), but hanging your entire story on the back of it pretty much writes yourself into a corner.

The other issue with this clichéd variation of rescuing kids is in its execution. 9 times out of 10, dark real-world issues like human trafficking (or even child prostitution in a few instances) aren't handled with the maturity they require, instead likening the antagonists more towards the dastardly Child-Catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. As dark as it sounds, your villain's reasons for taking that child have to be justified - especially if you're falling into the trap of having Super-Dad eventually tracking them down. I mean, do these abductors not do the slightest bit of background research around their target? Take the kid of a milkman or a politician if you want your operation to keeping running, uninterrupted. Bloomin' Hell, now I'm offering advice to people who steal kids - that's what these scripts have done to me.

2) The Protagonist Might Be The Killer


Here's a fun observation - if your main character spends the entire story worrying that they are actually responsible for a murder, pretty much every time, they are not going to end up being the murderer. So, I ask you... Why waste all that time and energy on a foregone conclusion? The audience is going to be spending more of their time suspecting your supporting characters anyway, so having your protagonist crying and splashing water in their face at the bathroom mirror for 90 minutes is just unnecessarily distancing us from the real mystery. It's like having a love triangle romance story, where the third wheel spends most of the movie thinking he's in love, causing all kinds of trouble, and then at the end being like, "Screw love. I'm going to get a job instead."

Don't get me wrong - a little ambiguity as to the morality of your "hero" can be a great thing. Making their internal conflict directly related to the murders, however, doesn't provide an interesting dimension for the character. Worrying about being a killer isn't a relatable emotion (for most of us). Instead, have Peter/Patricia Protagonist working to overcome a separate internal struggle, whereby the resolution of the murders acts as a catalyst for growth. The go-to is usually alcoholism with thrillers, but really it could be just about any sort of personal problem - an illegitimate child, a mental or physical illness, or the crippling struggles of unemployment. That's a lot of dark stuff, mind, so here's a picture of a duckling stood on a Labrador's head.


3) Former Lover Teaches Our Hero to Love Again


The reality of bumping into an old flame is surprisingly different from the fiction of most romantic movies. It seems every film lover, especially in spec scripts, operates in the extremes, either acting incredibly hostile to their former partner, or being impossibly friendly, likely looking to reignite the fires. Naturally, the real world features a more murky range of emotions, from the civil, to the damaged and the incredibly awkward (the latter being my personal preference, apparently). Worse than the typical extremities in cinema, however, is the inclusion of an Ex as nothing more than a plot point, rather than bringing any sort of meaningful contribution or story of their own to the overall film.

It almost feels like we're all buying into the same false formulas - if a relationship ends for a specific reason, all we have to do is overcome that reason and then we'll definitely get back together. Or, our current dissatisfaction with a current relationship is rooted in the fact that the person we were with before was vastly superior. These "grass-is-always-greener", rose-tinted outlooks on love are nice in theory, but ultimately damaging in practice, and many budding writers find themselves opting for these optimistic messages without really offering any sort of original or realistic dissection of human connection. As a result, characters come off as bland and predictable. Again, I'm really trying not be pessimistic here - reality makes for a better story than fiction. There can be nice things in reality too!

4) Girl Possesses Strange Abilities


In fairness, this frequently appearing plotline occasionally intersects with the Taken knock-offs in point one, so yeah, you could argue I too am not contributing anything original here. But, like in that section, Carrie already exists, so why is everyone so keen to half-heartedly rehash it? The fact that all of the numerous scripts I've read using this trope featured a girl, rather than, y'know, a boy, is an odd correlation, but one that I'm quite thankful is attempting to bring a different kind of protagonist to our screens. The problem, once more, just lies in how predictable and uninteresting the execution of those stories ends up becoming.

So your leading lady is either telekinetic, telepathic, pyrokinetic, invincible, can talk to animals, a shape-shifter, can toast bread with her breath, whatever, etc. She spends the first Act discovering her abilities whilst trying to keep them hidden, yadda yadda. Then, the government or some private organisation learns of her powers and wants to abuse them - meh. She stops them, everyone finds out her big secret... WE HAVE SEEN THIS SO MANY TIMES. At least the recent Supergirl series has had the foresight to have Kara very much aware of her abilities and a bunch of supporting characters know her secret in advance of the pilot, so we can start seeing new stories emerge. Bottom line - find a new angle, kids.

5) Someone is Dying or Something...



Give me strength... Can you tell I'm now boring myself writing about these boring storylines full of boring characters and boring sequences? I don't know which asshole thought it was a great idea to tell budding writers that having a character on their deathbed was a good shortcut to creating "emotional drama". Either way, I'm hunting that person down. Yes, it's a sad scenario, but it always just reeks of trying to get the audience to cry, because, well, dying and stuff. Repeating the issues of yesterpoint once more, the notion that a character finally seeing the error of their ways or providing a convenient emotional resolution for someone else just before they kick the bucket feels too romanticised and unlike reality.

Timing is also a big problem here. You kick off your story with a deathbed scene and we don't feel connected to the characters involved. You end your story with a deathbed scene and the character resolution can feel like too little too late (although framing it as a reunion, like in Interstellar, can add an extra, tragic dimension). You hit the midpoint of your story with a deathbed scene and... Why?! It's very tricky to get right, and 95% of the time just doesn't work in spec scripts. Tragedy becomes more tragic if it's born from factors within the character's control. Old age, illnesses and freak accidents feel too "written", as if you couldn't find a natural way to include that deathbed scene you insist on jamming down our tear ducts.

Anyway, I warned you this stuff would all get a little heavy this week. So, as a final treat, here's that picture of a duckling on top of a Labrador again.



James Cottle, a Scriptwriting Mega-Scholar™, is now a real world Freelance Writer, in between intense bouts of Script Reading. Follow him on Twitter @Jxmxsc, "like" the Anti-Scriptwriting page on Facebook, and share this blog if you want his opinions on your work to be completely unbiased.